Since the week after preseason ended it's been so different this year as a sophmore than it was as a freshmen. The fact that I had decided to redshirt and not play soccer this year in order to fully heal my lingering injuries and to progressively get back in shape has completely changed my expectations of the fall semester. Making the initial decision to redshirt was pretty tough at first; knowing that I could do big things this year on the field and really help our team out was difficult to come to terms with at first. Giving it up was a lot easier when I realized that my decision would ultimately help the team out more as I would be healthy for next year and have an extra year of eligibility to play. Although the first couple of weeks of life without soccer have been a little strange thus far, the experience has helped me understand the importance and benefit that can come from patience and discipline. It has also allowed me to feel more independence and more of an identity separate from soccer which has been interesting as well. Having an objective perspective of the team has also been quite revealing and helpful in determining and overlooking the team's progression and growth, putting me almost in a coach's seat in terms of observing the team from any spectrum weather it's on or off the field. So because of that I've been giving a lot of the guys advice and insight onto what I'm seeing from the team thus far. As the season goes on I don't know if i will have the same outlook and the same bond with my teammates as I did last year during the fall but as of now I feel like that will be the case even though I am redshirting just because of how close I am with the guys on the team and how infatuated I am with our team's success. The fact that I'm redshirting has had no negative impact on my friendships within the team and has allowed me to grow stronger bonds to those outside soccer as well. So although at first I was not ecstatic about my soccer situation I have begun to enjoy experiencing a different type of trinity without a commitment like soccer every day.
